It's Not Just Me

How Can I Listen to My Body When It's in Conflict with My Mind?

Episode Summary

On living inside something you don't fully control: aging, perimenopause, stress that shows up in the flesh, and learning the language your body has been speaking all along.

Episode Notes

This question sat with Komal for a full year before we recorded, the year her body started asking her to slow down. She talks openly about entering perimenopause: the unfamiliar, uncomfortable feelings, the contrast with the taboo silence that surrounded her first period as a girl in India, and the double-edged sword of today's information overload. She shares the arc of her past year honestly - the restrictive diet, the daily weigh-ins, the real weight loss, and then the "strong rebellion" that rose up from inside her - and the shift that brought her peace: replacing "what should I weigh?" with a new daily parameter: how do I feel inside my body today?

Magda brings the other side of the conflict: the body that speaks when the mind refuses to listen. Her clenched jaw and flattened teeth as a barometer of stress she hadn't acknowledged. The frozen shoulder that appeared overnight at the worst of an abusive situation - doctors hunted for a physical cause while the real one went unnamed. The panic attack so severe she woke up in the ER, where a doctor she'd never met told her plainly: whatever is stressing you needs to stop. The body always speaks in signs and symptoms first, Komal reminds us, and if we ignore the whispers, it will eventually scream in the form of aches, ailments, and disease.

We play with the idea that mind and body aren't two things at all (your gut is full of neurons and neuroreceptors - Candace Pert's research gets a shout-out), and Komal offers a corporate metaphor that lands: the brain is the executive suite, the body is the whole organization, and trouble starts when leadership loses touch with the ground floor. The brain is also an energy miser: it defaults to whatever habit costs the least, which is why the couch wins even when movement is what would actually generate energy. And the prescription for most body problems is humbler than any trend: breathe properly, drink water, move, hold decent posture, sleep adequately. Basics first. (You'd be surprised; Komal once coached a client who literally could not take a deep breath.)

Reflection Questions

• When did you first think of your body as separate from you, as something you have a relationship with rather than something you are?
• What does it mean to trust your body when it's actively inconvenient or uncomfortable?
• Where did you learn what a body is for?

The Baseline Five

Before any fancy fix, check the foundation: breathing properly · hydration · movement · posture · adequate sleep. If body issues are piling up, start here.

Further Reading

Listed from most general to most specific:

• The Body by Bill Bryson. A hilarious, deeply informative tour of every part and function of your body. The best possible way to fall in love with the machine you live in.
• The Mind-Gut Connection by Emeran Mayer. Why brain and body aren't separate entities at all.
• Molecules of Emotion by Candace B. Pert. The science (and personal story) of what emotions are physically made of, and why receptors for them live far beyond your brain.
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. The landmark book on what trauma does to the body and how the body holds it. Essential for anyone with a trauma history.
• Bioenergetics by Alexander Lowen. Solution-oriented: movements and exercises to unlock energy held in the body.
• Your Body Is Your Brain by Amanda Blake. Somatic coaching through body awareness.
• The Art of Somatic Coaching by Richard Strozzi-Heckler. The foundational text from Blake's own teacher.